Team SFO

So I booked an early morning flight to Mexico which involved an 5:30am pickup by a muppet driver from the airport shuttle service. Even though my confirmation said pickup was 5:50am he insisted that it was a 5:20am pickup and that I was late, he kept showing me his little handheld device that showed the times, I felt a sudden urge to shove the device where the sun don't shine!

Checkin was nice and easy no hassles or sign of a queue, airport security however was a different story. As everyone lined up to go through they went through checking passports and tickets and pulling certain people aside into a new line. I was one of them and I'm pretty sure it was all based on passports and not at all random. At this point I noticed the special machine that looked like it was straight out of Star Trek which we were imminently about to go through. So up steps the doofus operating it and tells everyone they have to empty pockets, remove shoes, belts etc and place them into the containers. He sends in the first guy and says don't worry it's just gonna blow some air at you and explains the procedure. This thing has glass doors on the other side to stop you walking right through it. He steps in and it blasts about 6 shots of air at him and then lights up like a christmas tree and the doors wouldn't open, the doofus presses some buttons to let him out and they then close on him as he exits. Nobody else was sent through it after that so I guess it broke. We were all instead subjected to manual screening.

To say these guys were unorganised would be an understatement, I think the chuckle brothers could have done a better job, and this was at 7am with only a few passengers to deal with. These idiots have specially designed typically American uniforms with little patches on the arms saying 'Team SFO' 'Making Safer Skies'. Oh I felt so safe! As they swabbed almost the entire contents of my bag for what I can only assume to be explosives one of them got real excited. He'd found my handwash gel. He then put it in a little plastic bag and just as I though he was going to confiscate it he handed it back to me along with my rucksack and said it should be put inside a bag like this, err ok I thought but I've cleared security now so what's the point?!